Funk Dat!

Sep 16, 2001
I've been listening to so much "Cat Power" I think I might kill myself. Not really though.

It's really amazing how completely we can adapt to our environment. Not even rats are more contentable than us. Whatever situation we're in - we can accept - and flourish.

I think that we as human beings crave stability most of the time. Something to add a little structure to the oceans of chaos. Change is a necessary and usually positive thing - if one can muster a positive attitude. Some changes can be for the worse, but even then, much can be learned.

Transitions can be uncomfortable. I think the trick to staying young and mentally fertile is to have the courage to trudge through the unknown and uncomfortable.

Instead of asking yourself, "do I like this?" try "CAN I like this?". It's a lot more productive. Of course, I'm one of the most amiable motherfuckers you'll ever meet. So mileage may vary.

To avoid making this one of those thoughtless over-generalized blogs I'll let you know just what I'm talking about: the scary transition from an independant indestructable single ladies man to a devoted and content boyfriend, the lame and inadequate floundering transition from a boring drag website to the present (and still inadequate) incarnation, the transition from being a software developer to just collecting checks from the state to gearing up to be a software developer again.

Also, my style in clothes has changed twice in the last year. It's important not to get too attached (pride-wise) to any one thing. Like a job. Or a style. I didn't think that I could be a good boyfriend. I thought I liked girls too much. But then I gave it a shot and found that I could.

My particular mind is driven as much by dissatisfaction is it is by the prospect of a better tomorrow. It makes it convenient for the purpose of burning the useless bridges of the past. I have an apendix - but I don't use it. It's like that. You might wonder if I suffer from identity dilution. Nope. I'm the same person - albiet a growing one. I love the fact that I appreciate such a wide variety of interests, people, music, attitudes, hobbies, art, etc. I love being a writer, photographer, software developer, artist, pool shark, poet, lover, political activist, dancer, and socialite all at the same time. I think the more things in this world that we can relate to - the more things that CAN make us happy - the better off we are.

I felt ripped off when I listened to the first Superchunk CD that I ever bought. Upon successive listenings, however, they started to grow on me. Now they're probably my favorite band ever.

I see people get so whiney when thy have bumps in their normally smooth upper class male American lives. And no I'm not talking about buildings getting blown up et al. I'm speaking of those aryan fucks who get upset when you let them know that they just parked their BMW in a handicapped spot. Money doesn't buy happiness. It can work just the opposite if you don't have the right attitude. Material happiness is a very real and valid satisfaction. Stuff makes me happy. I like taking lots of pictures and playing with cameras and computers and traveling and driving zoomy zoom shifter cars and going to movies and rock shows and someday wanna own a big ole house and yard and puppy dog and children. All that stuff takes money. If one doesn't have the money for it though, then that's the carrot in front of the donkey. That's the item of lust. It's something to work towards.

People whose means are greater than their apetite for stuff often are just as miserable as those who don't have the means. People like to hunger - people like to lust for just a LITTLE extra. If one doesn't have to worry about how to pay for rent or the new Mercedes, then one's mind may turn to power (political, social, sexual), or conquest (military, economic), or drugs or destruction.

This is how I justify being broke and happy. ;)