Find Evan A Job Day

Welcome.

Perhaps you've heard: I've sponsored legislation designating today as National Find Evan A Job Day. Today, every American is constitutionally obligated to do just one thing that will bring Evan one step closer to being gainfully employed. The bill is currently working it's way through Congress, but I'm confident that it'll be enacted into Law. It's tacked onto a bill constitutionally obligating senatorial interns to provide fellatio to their assigned senators.

To fulfill your patriotic duty, any of the following actions will suffice. Think to yourself:

1) is your work hiring?
2) is anybody you know's work hiring?
3) is anywhere you know hiring?
no? well,
4) isn't it about time that I buy Evan some beer/food?
5) I'd love to pay Evan to take photos/give me a massage/dig a hole/open a hard to open jar.
6) jeez, all these fat rolls of 100's.. I ought to let Evan hold onto these for a while.

If these ideas seem rediculous to you on first reading, drink heavily, consume mind altering drugs, and repeat them over and over in your mind until they make perfect sense.

Archives By Month

• June 2008
• February 2005
• January 2005
• December 2004
• September 2004
• June 2004
• March 2004
• December 2003
• November 2003
• March 2003
• January 2003
• November 2002
• October 2002
• September 2002
• August 2002
• July 2002
• May 2002
• April 2002
• March 2002
• February 2002
• January 2002
• December 2001
• November 2001
• October 2001
• September 2001
• August 2001
• July 2001
• June 2001
• May 2001
• March 2001
• January 2001
• December 2000
• October 2000